Answers to Prayer

Matt and I were just talking last night about how one of the hardest things about just watching her in her incubator is that we feel powerless to let her know we love her.  We were mostly concerned about this because one of our first nurses worked for years as a psychiatrist before switching careers.  He told us that in every child's first 6 months of life, they determine whether this world is a safe place to live.  Their future psychological health and independence depend on this feeling of safety.  He told us that our role as parents was to give her that feeling of safety--through Kangaroo Care (holding her skin to skin).  Among all the pin pricks, proddings, and pokes, it is the Kangaroo Care that will give her one peaceful encounter with people.  Since as long as she's on the oscillator we can't hold her, Matt and I wished we could find some way to let her know that we love her and that this world is a good place to live. 

We couldn't think of anything we could do to show our love because stationary touch reminds her of the nurses who annoy her, rubbing hurts her sensitive skin, and singing disturbs her sensitive ears.  Out of options, we prayed that the Lord might let her little Spirit know of our love.  

The next morning, I came into the hospital greeted by the nurse who said, "Do you notice anything different?"  To my utter shock, she was on the other ventilator!  I couldn't believe my eyes.  Because she struggled so much when they turned the oxygen down on the oscillator, I thought it would be weeks before she was off of it.  Turns out that little opinionated Brynn just hated the oscillator.  She threw fit after fit, her vitals were all over the place--even after two doses of morphine--and she refused to work with the oscillator.  Each time she'd try to breathe on her own, it'd throw off the machine and so the nurses would turn up the oxygen to make sure she'd stop trying to breathe.  Before long, she was throwing a fit even though the oxygen was at 100%.  She was absolutely determined to continue taking her own breaths, regardless of that stubborn machine.

Unable to calm her and out of ideas, the staff put her on the other ventilator--the one that allows her to take her own breaths.  It was a hard call because the drawback to the new machine is that it doesn't help the alveoli inflate evenly like the oscillator does.  Some alveoli would over-inflate and others would totally collapse.  Because she'd had a little problem with that when she was first born (and thus the reason they switched her to the oscillator), they were concerned about switching back. 

But a miracle happened.  Not only did she finally calm down and stabilize after the switch, but a chest x-ray later in the day confirmed her alveoli were doing well.  Not only that, but her oxygen jumped from 100% on the oscillator to only 35% on the new machine.  That little stinker was just letting her opinions be known!  She wanted to breathe by herself!

Now that Kangaroo Care is a possibility, I couldn't help but assume it was direct answer to prayer.  Although the nurses wanted to make sure she was really stable before they allowed me to hold her, I think it will be soon if not tomorrow that my chance will come!

Love you all,

Natalie