Tiny Fib

POST SCRIPT: I should probably delete this post altogether. I certainly wouldn't want one of my therapists to happen upon this site and think they've done a bad job. I can tell they're wonderful people and over time, our working relationships will get stronger. It's just the transition that is hard--most especially the transition of habits. Although one system of therapy will likely work just as well as another, it's just a major transition for me to go from one to another in each of her developmental areas. In the short time we've been here, though, some therapists have already been surprised at the rapid rate of Brynn's development from their first visit to the second, so I think they will quickly become as optimistic as the KS staff. Once all my habits are changed, new approaches are integrated to my daily routine, and new recommendations are second nature, I'm sure I'll be as happy with those in UT as I was with those in KS.

So, I sort of lied when I said not much was going on besides eating, sleeping, pooping, and boogers. The fact is, getting used to all the new therapists is really hard and I've been struggling. Not only does it feel like people aren't listening to me when I try to tell them about Brynn's quirks, but it also feels like an overwhelming wave of negativity.

In KS, all the therapists were so optimistic about Brynn. Here, they all stress how "severely" delayed she is in every area. In KS, everyone believed she'd live a normal life. Here, although no one has directly said it, I get the impression they're all worried about her because several have said they expect her to be much further ahead than she is.

Then, aside from all our other changes, I've also been asked to change nearly everything I was working on--and in totally menial ways like saying, "Let me hear you say...?" instead of "Can you say...?" Although I understand the thought behind the change (making it a soft command vs. a closed, yes/no question), I end up thinking, "Seriously? You really think that's going to be the difference between her learning language and not learning language?"

Changing habits is hard. Especially when you trust and love your old therapists and you're overwhelmed with all the other changes in your life already.

So, I got excited about a "normal" toddler thing Brynn did. Since she prefers walking around to actual hands-on exploring, she rarely gets into stuff. But I was so happy she finally did something "devious," I thought it worthy of photographing:


Since the photo, I've been feeling better. Brynn has come leaps and bounds. I know it, and all the therapists in KS know it. Furthermore, I know I'm doing my best and I know that will be good enough no matter what the outcome is. God has granted me a lot of peace about it recently--and I trust Him more than any therapist.